Run Like Hell
If worst comes to worst, you can always run away to fight another day. This is the Cardio rule number one in Zombieland that clearly makes a lot of sense. How many fat people do you see at the end of the world when its zombies doing the ending?
Hit the road
Zombies like the city. There’s more to see there and more people to eat. As soon as the epidemic declare, just pack up and move to the countryside. Find a nice field (not a forest as zombies will be able to sneak up on you) and stay there. Become a farmer and wait for it all to blow over.
Beware of Bathrooms
And any closed place where you can be cornered by ambushed zombies: elevator, cellar, ….
Driving safety rules
Check your seatbelt! If zombies get into the car while you are driving, you can still use the brake trick to eject them through the windscreen. Also always check the back seat before entering the vehicle and keep out from the windows if possible.
No Attachments
This is a tough one but you can not have attachments. If you got kids or a wife you’re less likely to survive then the gal or guy who has no attachments and nothing slowing him or her down. Or worse yet making bonehead decisions like ‘going back home’ when know that he whole place is crammed with zombies including your family and neighbours. Be ruthless: the weak and compassionate will not survive in a zombie apocalypse.
Travel in a Group
Going it alone gives the zombies no choices but to eat you. Going it with the old man with the limp, the little kid or the pregnant woman give the zombies more options and you better odds you can run away faster then they can.
Think of strategy
Remember that zombies are a primitive life form. Their brain functions are just high enough to allow them to move and attack. They will not feel pain, nor can they be reasoned with. If surrounded by zombies, climb a tree or a wall and take aim from there. Know Your Way Out!
Always prepare a lot of supplies
Clothes, gas, ammo, water, food and lights,… You won’t be the sole survivor in the beginning and most places will be quickly looted. Eventually, be ready to fight against other survivors that won’t hesitate to kill you to get your gun or your personal reserve of marijuana.
Limber Up
When either fighting a zombie or running from zombies it’s not a great time to be pulling a muscle or throwing your back out. Don’t spare the stretch. It may save your life.
Doubletap
Carrying a gun is a great idea but it should never be your primary weapon. Also make sure that the target is totally dead. One bullet more in the head will go a long way to ensuring your survival.
Blend in
Much as Shaun did in Shaun of the Dead it’s important to blend in. When the last time you saw a zombie try to eat another zombie? Make sure to put some rotten meat in your pocket for the smell so zombies will believe you are part of them.
Don’t be a hero
A good way to survive zombie attacks is to give them something else to chase down and eat – your friends. If you’re in a crowd of people, stand in the middle. Just remember it’s better to come up with the ideas and lead the group than to just be a follower. It’s the person at the back of the group during chase scenes that gets eaten first.
Enjoy the Little Things
Loot a neighbourhood or two, trash a car, speed! Do the little things and enjoy them. Who knows how long you have to live!
If You Get Bitten Keep It a Secret
So while fighting off that last wave of zombies with your bare hands, you took one for the team. Luckily for you it was somewhere easy to conceal. It’s just a scratch anyway, no point making a big deal about it. And even if you are infected, the antidote could be around the corner, there is always hope as long as you are alive!
